No, thank you

Anonybabe has learned to say "Yes, please," and "No, thanks," without being prompted.

I'm proud of her, of course I am, and I'm freaking proud of us parents. Do you know how dogged you have to be to insist a 2 year old say that? (We have not been so dogged about other things that would probably serve her better, like combing her hair, but I won't digress on that just now.)

I think she finally figured out that if she's polite, she'll have us wrapped around her little finger. So true. Not to put too dark a spin on it, polite speech is about the most powerful form of manipulation there is. Flattery will get you everywhere and manners are a form of flattery. In a way, you're saying "I value you enough to jump through this arbitrary speech hoop just to show you that I'll go to the trouble to please you." It's a weird, often heartless display of deference. In theory, I don't think the words "please" and "thank you" are as important as empathy, and honesty, and affection. But I needed to hear Anonybabe using those words to me. I couldn't wait for her to be indoctrinated into polite-speak, even though Anonyhub and I agreed that there was nothing so bullying and disheartening as hearing a kid give a rote "thank you" after being prompted by their parent.

Don't get me wrong, I think manners are important. It is important to value other people in everyday conversation, to make them feel appreciated and nice. But polite speech has a way of putting up walls sometimes, a way of keeping us from being forthright.

So now that our little Eliza Doolittle knows the verbal ropes, I should turn my attention to teaching the empathy/honesty/affection stuff I now wish I'd focused on making the behavioral baseline. I hope we haven't shot ourselves in the foot by making it abundantly clear that she should say what we want to hear, and not what she thinks/feels.