Uh oh, it's magic

Hello, my little Beatle Baileys. How's shakes?

I'm writing to you with the beginnings of a cold. I wish I were nursing some garlic lemonade right now. Home remedy that is freakishly good: steep a couple of cloves of minced garlic in a quart of hot water for 30 minutes to an hour, then add the juice of a couple of lemons and honey to taste. Added bonus: people will smell you coming. I hate taking cold medicine; I have a hard time trusting anything that came from the pharmaceutical industrial complex. There may be a large sticking-it-to-the-man placebo effect going on with this remedy, but I'll take whatever relief I can get. Lemon and honey and garlic are all good for the immune system, so why not?

And I'm writing at the tail end of a short visit from my dad and his wife. I do not have great love for my dad. Maybe I should rephrase, because I can't help loving him even though it drives me crazy to do so. I have zilch respect for him; he's let me down time and time again. I think he's cowardly and selfish and childish. And right when my anger towards him starts simmering over, I realize all the ways that we're alike. There are so many character traits that we share. Hating him is like hating myself, and that gets confusing. This visit is giving me a chance to pick through the twin landmines of a) keeping my boundaries firm around him, and b) being gentle with myself when he does things or I do things that drive me crazy.

Also, had a nice little moment with Anonybabe that I want to turn over in my brain a few times. Anonyhub and I took her to an art walk in our old neighborhood yesterday. Anonyhub had an old college buddy showing his work and I wanted to go too. It was no place for a toddler - people opened up their studios in a big warehouse and you could wander from space to space. There were jewelry artists who had their welding equipment within easy reach, tile makers whose fragile work was hanging within smashing distance. So I ended up holding Anonybabe for a long time while we walked through, probably close to an hour. She loved it. She happily warbled away, played with my necklace, asked me questions. And this feeling awakened in me that I haven't really felt since she was a little baby. I used to get it when we would take weekend trips together, and she would sit in my lap for hours while we flew to friends and family. It was the result of being physically close for a long time, and giving Anonybabe face-to-face attention. It works when we take long trips on public transportation too. What should be a nightmare ends up being kind of magical. I don't get it, but I'm going to respect it, try to work it in.