Toddlers Who Talk and a Mama Who Sings

I was singing to Anonybabe at bedtime last night, looking for new tunes to try on her, and pulled out "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music.

"Oh, I like this song," said Anonybabe. "This song makes me happy!"

She let me sing a couple more lines, until I got to the part about snowflakes staying on my nose and eyelashes.

"I have eyelashes!" exclaimed Anonybabe, fingering them. "And I have have eyes!"

And then, as chipper as a Barney character, "And I have a nose....with boogers in them!"

Feathered, friend

Anonybabe had her Halloween hoo-ha at daycare today.

She dressed as a chicken.

Here she is with her class, parading down the street to show off their sweet duds.

Halloween rocks.

No, thank you

Anonybabe has learned to say "Yes, please," and "No, thanks," without being prompted.

I'm proud of her, of course I am, and I'm freaking proud of us parents. Do you know how dogged you have to be to insist a 2 year old say that? (We have not been so dogged about other things that would probably serve her better, like combing her hair, but I won't digress on that just now.)

I think she finally figured out that if she's polite, she'll have us wrapped around her little finger. So true. Not to put too dark a spin on it, polite speech is about the most powerful form of manipulation there is. Flattery will get you everywhere and manners are a form of flattery. In a way, you're saying "I value you enough to jump through this arbitrary speech hoop just to show you that I'll go to the trouble to please you." It's a weird, often heartless display of deference. In theory, I don't think the words "please" and "thank you" are as important as empathy, and honesty, and affection. But I needed to hear Anonybabe using those words to me. I couldn't wait for her to be indoctrinated into polite-speak, even though Anonyhub and I agreed that there was nothing so bullying and disheartening as hearing a kid give a rote "thank you" after being prompted by their parent.

Don't get me wrong, I think manners are important. It is important to value other people in everyday conversation, to make them feel appreciated and nice. But polite speech has a way of putting up walls sometimes, a way of keeping us from being forthright.

So now that our little Eliza Doolittle knows the verbal ropes, I should turn my attention to teaching the empathy/honesty/affection stuff I now wish I'd focused on making the behavioral baseline. I hope we haven't shot ourselves in the foot by making it abundantly clear that she should say what we want to hear, and not what she thinks/feels.

Momlicious

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Dia De Los Muertos

Just loved this post from my friend's newsletter and wanted to pass it on. It got me all excited about coming up with ways to remember my paternal grandmother and maternal great-grandmother to Anonybabe. They were both generally unhappy, crusty, saucy wenches, and I love them both.

xo, Jewel & Martha.

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Boy oh boy, this is our favorite time of year! The Day of the Dead, or Dia De Los Muertos, is a time to remember our Loved Ones who have passed. Celebrated between October 31st and November 2nd, this festival is quite the party for both sides of the Veil! Departed loved ones know this as the time of year when they can very easily revisit and check in on the family they still have here on Earth. Visiting new family members, sharing stories that celebrate life, reminiscing those who've passed, and enjoying favorite foods of the Muertos are some sacred traditions of this culture. Of course, our culture has Americanized this day of celebration which we fondly refer to as Halloween, on October 31st.

We will be honoring our ancestors and thanking them for their gifts and contributions which help us be here today. My grandmother Lois passed when she was just 42 leaving behind her husband and 4 young children. The toll this took on my family was immense, but the strength and love it took for the family stay together is her greatest legacy. She loved peonies, so we will have some around the house to honor her.

This celebration is one we find of great value to every family. Even if this is not a part of your cultural tradition, make it part of your family's story. Share tales of loved ones, make Aunt Toad's famous caramels to keep her memory alive, pull out photos and heirlooms and share the lives of those who loved us.

Even taking a moment during this celebration to remember a dearly departed will let her or him know -- energetically -- they are gone but never forgotten.

Happiness is...

...listening to the Beatles' Revolver with your toddler while you eat your dinner together, watching her bop to it in her seat and hearing her interjections:

"They are singing about sweeping!"

"Hmm, hmm, hmmm, hmmm, goooood day suuuun shine!"

"Dos guys say dey are wivving in a yellow submarine!"


Just try not to let it get you down when she banishes you from the bedroom at lights out. "Mom, I want you to LEAVE now."

Bob, bob, bobbing along

Anonybabe can swim, y'all! I mean, she doggy paddles with a YMCA floaty snapped around her tummy, but whatever. She wiggles free from me in the pool and can make her way from one side to the other, squealing with glee, and doing that odd jerky erect neck posture that people who are trying to keep their heads well above the water use. I can't believe it.

It's odd, Anonybabe is the most cautious toddler you'll ever meet. She waited until 18 months to start walking, and then would put her hands down to balance herself if she so much as crossed a doorjamb. She pauses for every crack in the sidewalk. She asked to be picked up and carried at every stairway. So it was shocking to take her into a swimming pool for the first time and have her struggle to swim alone. She would kick and squirm and flail every appendage in an attempt at freedom. She was going for it. She was annoyed by my hands under her pits, my knee placed under her feet so she'd have a place to stand. Last time we went to the pool I tried letting go. Lo and behold, she didn't much need me around. I still hovered, of freaking course, but didn't really touch.

I suppose this shores up the theory that Anonybabe has some undeveloped muscles somewhere that make it hard for her to run, jump, play, climb...on dry land. She has no such hang-ups in the water. Perhaps this lets her be her uninhibited self a little bit.

Funny, I do like being in water, but didn't get around to it much at all in my adult life. But when I was pregnant with Anonybabe, and especially towards the end of the pregnancy, I was in the pool as much as possible. I had a little parasite inside willing me to go, to get a sweet release from gravity, to employ a wet pillow to muffle the noises of the world, to snatch those breath-long segments of isolation.

It was beautiful, and a little sad, to see her gathering these things for herself.