coocoo for babynonmous puffs

Why does being a mother seem to be making me certifiable at every turn?

Bear with me; I'm going to try to avoid making the details of my neuroses too tedious, even though by nature that is what they are.

As I was washing the dishes tonight I found my self feverishly wondering whether I could safely offer my daughter yogurt tomorrow. A normal thing for a mother to wonder, right? As Andre 3000 so ably put it: wa-wa-well...yes and no.

First I should mention that I read this book called Super Baby Food in which you make all of your own food for your baby. The control freak and chemicalphobe in me loves this plan. So right there we're already stoking some fires that probably need not be stoked. Now this book is a handy source book - a very handy source book - if you want to make your own babyfood. The woman who wrote it is absolutely insane though. She explains everything in minute minute detail, like how to boil water six different ways in case one doesn't work for you. It's like she assumes everyone is an absolute moron...except I don't think that's where she's coming from. I think she just likes to leave nothing to chance and assumes you're with her on this lock, stock and barrel. I hate skimming books but I had to skim a lot of this one so as not to gouge my eyes out in frustration trying to get through the section on combinations of grains you can use to make porridge.

Anyhoo, although I have my qualms about Super Baby lady's method of communication, I like her diet plan. It's simple and sound. And it is based on giving your child one meal a day centered around a grain porridge and one meal centered around yogurt. (I'm making this tedious already, aren't I?)

Yogurt is a suggested first food but for various reasons I haven't been able to give it to my daughter yet on a regular basis. The first time I gave her a couple of tiny bites she heaved her shoulders in tiny little retches and spit what she ate up immediately. So I waited a couple of weeks and tried again. She ate yogurt and pears with relish but the next day had a flaming red diaper rash and then five days and counting of congestion. Add to this the fact that my husband accidentally gave her buttermilk when she was 2 months old and his family has a history of lactose intolerance and we may have a baby who just can't handle the yogurt, or at least not yet.

But do I find myself wanting to take it easy on her wee tummy? No! I find myself coming up with every possible excuse to give her yogurt, knowing it hasn't gone well thusfar, and knowing that she still primarily breastfeeds and it ain't no big thing if she doesn't get it.

But goddam it, this means she isn't on the plan. The Super Baby plan. And rather than envisioning her big blue eyes filled with tears of pain when I think of yogurt, all I can think of are charts and the jar of homemade yogurt I have in the refrigerator that will go to waste. What you want me to eat it? No thanks; I'd much rather foist it on my daughter.