Just add water

I gave my daughter a name that by most accounts means "beautiful". I managed to overcome my disgust towards that particular interpretation when I found one account that said it is a name that means "instigator". She was born an Aires, why not embrace her inner ram?

Now, I myself have a stubborn streak, but I am for the most part a passive and retiring person. And I know it is the stuff of tragedies to wish your child could be the person you've always wanted to be. But wouldn't it be great if the kid were more than a little sassy? Sure of herself, not one to be pushed around? I could teach the child to be kind; help her walk a mile in another's shoes. But I don't know that I could teach grit. Ballsiness. I'd rather she were the bosser than the bossee.

So I have extremely mixed feelings about my daughter's newfound shyness. Maybe it isn't shyness; it's more like a studied reticence. She won't crack a smile until she's sized you up. If you really work to make her smile she may push her cheek to her shoulder and give you a demure little head cock. But she won't loosen up until she knows she's got your number. She stares. A lot. My dad was a little flustered when he met her the other day. She wouldn't smile at him or cry or anything; she would just sit stony-faced on his knee while he tried to win her over. She's not like this with everybody...moreso with men.

My interpretation: she's an observer. Not necessarily a follower, but she's a watcher. I guess I was hoping she would be a damn-the-torpedos-full-speed-ahead kind of girl. Of course that would make her absolutely different from her father and me, but it could've happened. Three of her four grandparents are that way. Anonydad and I would have had to scratch our heads at her antics, but...I don't know...I just imagine her life would be somewhat easier than ours was, isolated as we made ourselves for most of our young lives.

So, although I may be jumping the gun just an eensy bit in laying out my 7 month old daughter's personality hurdles, pipe dream number one may never come to be. It doesn't look like she'll be the insensitive, hard-shelled little snit I never could manage to be. *Sigh* At least I have a lot of good advice for how to overcome sit-on-the-sideline-itis.