Right Round, Baby

Whew. Nothing was as I expected today.

First off, Anonybabe and I had an impetuously planned playdate with a little girl and her father; we met them through Anonybabe's daycare.

I asked them over after a day where Anonybabe must have asked me to play dollhouse with her 60 times. I thought maybe inviting somebody over who also wants to play dollhouse all day long might be in order. "Do you want to ask Mira over to play dollhouse?" In response Anonybabe grabbed her red toy phone and pretended to dial the numbers. "Hewwo?" she said, pausing appropriately. "Miwa? Do you want to come over and pway doll house wit me? .... Ok. If you say so." I hunted down the family's number and made a playdate on the spot.

I was excited about it. The parents seem to be in the same boat as Anonyhub and I: not the oldest parents on the block, but no spring chickens, a little overwhelmed by their lone 2 year old daughter who is blond, bright, chubby, and bossy. I envisioned commiserating about the surprises and hardships of parenting over a beer while the girls played.

But the girls did not play, and parental bonding didn't really commence. Our interactions in general were pleasant enough, but the net result of their visit was that it depressed the hell out of me. Anonybabe was quiet. Withdrawn. Unhappy. Crotchety. Is this how she acts around her classmates all the time? I know she doesn't dislike this Mira. She clambers for playtime and attention when older kids come to visit. And Mira is a busy girl, she gets around. It was painfully obvious how slow to move Anonybabe is. Especially when we went to a playground and Mira was climbing and sliding and running and jumping. At one point I started to tear up when Mira clambered up a spiral pole that Anonybabe has been fascinated by for the last year but can't even begin to climb alone. I said something about how bright Mira seems to her dad and he said something along the lines of "I think so, but I don't have a point of comparison. But her daycare teacher says she thinks she's really advanced and should probably meet the teachers at the Montissori school down the street." Then I think he tried to console us "I think it all evens out, kids develop at different speeds." I had such a whirlwind of emotions after that. Does anybody in Anonybabe's daycare see her as a cool and smart kid? Am I a crazy mom for thinking my daughter is great? Am I a crazy mom for worrying when other people don't think so? I didn't like the picture of myself that was developing, of me as a jealous angry mom who thinks my daughter that no one else sees as special is all that. Like I said, depressing.

Then we went to dinner with a botany professor friend of Anonyhub's, as well as the friend's dad. This professor is a delightful and charming teacher. He's enthusiastic and funny. But he tends to dominate the hell out of personal conversations, he goes off on happy tangents and doesn't come up for air for half hours at a time. I wasn't looking forward to dinner. But it was fricking wonderful. And Anonybabe was in a great mood: she chattered to herself and played with her food while we listened to the professor's father dominate the conversation with funny stories about Timothy Leary and his own dabblings in transcendental meditation.

I just wanted to cuddle Anonybabe the whole time we were at dinner. And it was good to remember that even though Anonybabe seems to shrivel when she's around other 2 year olds, she's boisterous and fun around adults, preteens, even 4 year olds. And when I can step the hell away from comparisons, I can enjoy her for who she is. Whether she's smart or slow, short-fused or imaginative.

My girl.