What not

I'm so angry that I'm working and Anonyhub is not.

That is all.




Actually, there's a lot more.

This morning, upon waking and surly without her pacifier, Anonybabe said to Anonyhub: "Daddy, I'm feeling pretty upset right now." I couldn't help guffawing from the next room. And then I clapped my hand over my mouth and hoped that she hadn't heard. I don't want to give her any reason to stop saying things like that.

Anonybabe's daycare provider has suggested that we get Anonybabe screened for some sort of physical disability. She was slow to crawl, and to walk. She still runs at quarter speed, can't get any air when she jumps, is loathe to climb on and off of our bed without some help. And she's a month shy of 2 1/2. I had kind of put worrying about her development aside because she's just barely hit all her milestones. She's always been so slow and deliberate; she'll hang back and study people and situations carefully before cautiously wading in. I had chalked this up to her personality. But our daycare provider thinks maybe she's cautious because moving doesn't come as easily for her. She had another kid who was screened and found to have underdeveloped stomach muscles (or some such) and has had a little physical therapy to help develop them for the past year, to great effect. We'll see. Anonybabe is supposed to get an evaluation this week. I oscillate between excitement (yea! physical therapy for 2 year olds is probably fun, and maybe Anonybabe can experience the joy of hell-for-leather movement sooner rather than later) and nervousness (what if this is an ugly, joyless process that only focuses on what's wrong with Anonybabe?).

Which leads me to a bitchpoint. If I may: my daughter is exceptional. She has crazy mad skills in certain areas. She is unique.

Quite honestly, so is every kid on the planet. It floors me that there really is something amazing about every person out there. I think I've always liked to believe this. It feels hopeful. It feels nice. But since being around children, I find that it's true. If you spend enough time with any kid, they are going to do something that knocks your socks off. Ride a bike. Tell a joke. Climb a slide. Solve a puzzle. Dance. Sing. Construct. Give you a well-timed hug. So much earlier, so much better, so much more naturally than you ever would have dreamed.

And of course, we think Anonybabe, with all of her quirks, has her own areas in which she shines. I guess I thought when we sent her to daycare, I would have another person to talk shop about Anonybabe with. I imagined someone else seeing all of the cool things she does, and gossiping about her with us at the end of the day. I imagined this daycare provider doing that with all of her kids and all of their parents.

But have I heard of any positive Anonybabe peccadilloes since she started daycare? I have not. But I have heard plenty of negatives: "Mama, Anonybabe is having trouble walking, and we think the diapers you use are hindering her." "Mama, why don't you be patient with your daughter, and let her climb the stairs by herself?" "I kept trying and trying to get Anonybabe to go down the slide by herself today, but she didn't want to go."

Now I expected to hear about how Anonybabe could be challenging. I expected her to be behind when it came to socializing, and I knew she was a slow mover. I looked forward to getting a fresh perspective on areas where Anonybabe could use some help. I expected to hear ways we could work with her at home so she could be more comfortable and more amenable to daycare.

But I expected to hear some nice things about Anonybabe's strengths as well as her weaknesses. Even something as mundane as "Wow! She knows her numbers really well for her age." or "My, Anonybabe is really verbal." Areas where I'm proud of her. Areas where she's comfortable. Areas where she shines.

Feels like I'm only hearing about what's wrong with Anonybabe from this daycare provider. It didn't help that she used buzzwords like "she's behind" and "it couldn't hurt to get her evaluated and get her some physical therapy, then she could even be ahead of her peers". ??? !! ??

I can't tell if I'm being overly sensitive, or if my mama radar is sending the alarm and telling me to go somewhere else and find someone who actually likes being around Anonybabe. Who actually sees what she's doing, not just what she isn't doing.