Outlaw the in-laws

It's okay to hate your in-laws, right? For no good reason? Just because you don't like their decorating style or the sound of their voices and the way they don't really listen to a thing you say? How about for being incredibly vacuous and self-centered and then having the audacity to enjoy themselves pretty much all the time?

They did the nicest of nice things this weekend, and took a day off work and drove many hours including several stuck in tollbooth rush hour traffic, just to take care of Anonybabe while Anonyhub and I tripped around Lollapalooza this weekend.

For this, was I gracious? Was I grateful? Yes, but it didn't stop me from getting enraged at every little imagined altercation.

What horrible in-law outrages did they commit, you ask. Were they feeding our toddler daughter fried fish and greasy tacos and 2% milk and whipped cream from the top of their sugary alcoholic beverages while she was in their care? And then blaming her ensuing poop blowouts on the plums I packed in her lunchbag? Yeah, maybe a little. Were they dressing our protesting daughter in frilly and/or thick knit dresses that, although admittedly made her look freaking adorable, were inappropriate for the hot as hell weather outside? Yes, guilty. Did they litter our bathroom counter with dop kits and curling irons and toothbrushes? Uh huh. Did they hold her down in her bed to try to get her to go to sleep? Check. Refuse to do any activities that would mess up grandma's froofy hair? Yep. Take her away for 13 hours while they went to visit a nearby relative, getting stuck in traffic so that I had to wait 2 hours longer than I'd planned on to see my much missed baby girl? Si.

And despite all of these atrocities, did Anonybabe shower them with kisses and flirt with them, and seem to have the time of her life?

You bet your booty.

Sigh. It seems there is something to like about these squawky uberconsumer midwesterners, at least if my daughter and husband have anything to say about it. It even melts my cold, resistant heart to see them hovering around Anonybabe's high chair, kissing her and fawning over her and delighting in every little thing she does. They just like her. They like being grandparents.

I should enjoy being a parent so much. I should try to enjoy being the daughter-in-law of two people who really like my daughter, and even my husband, although they have a funny way of showing it sometimes.

Now if I can just stop myself from getting enraged every time I see my mother-in-law's Precious Moments figurine collection, I'll know I'm getting somewhere.