My neediness knows no bounds

So today I am feeling a little...oh, how do I say this without sounding too truthful? Fuck it. I feel stalker-y.

I get this way every so often. I have wild swings when it comes to being social. As in -- I will spend a week wanting to do things and see people 24/7. I will send dozens of bright and (to my fevered imagination) beguiling emails, refreshing my inbox every ten minutes and watching for responses. I'll call friends and acquaintances, trolling for plans and fitting every available free moment. And I'll call my mom, sister, good friends, old friends, hoping for someone to fill the time on my commute home. Follow this with a three-week period where I won't want to talk to or see anyone. It's a social binge-starve cycle I've grown to recognize and accept in myself.

I am currently social binging, and orchestrated a picnic/playground date with this family. Things went swimmingly. Their preternaturally bright son seemed more like a normal three year old on the playground, angling for pizza and running around like the boy that he is. I'm still in love with him; this time he was totally playing the big brother card with Anonybabe in the nicest way possible. There was a set of side-by-side slides he would climb up, calling out "See Anonybabe? You can climb up the slides like this!" And as he would grunt his way up and his sandals would slip, he'd pant "sometimes it's a bit tricky." Then when he'd get to the top he'd say "Maybe we can slide down together." He was very into showing her stuff, without being bossy. And then his baby sister would give a signature, lazy, catty-eyed closed mouth smile and continue playing contentedly with her wood chips. Anonybabe didn't cry when approached by her and managed to really enjoy herself by the end of our time together. I had a great time chatting away with the mom and was relieved to confirm that any awkwardness with my college friend the dad was just that - social awkwardness - and not due to any real changes in personality on either person's part. By the end of a long picnic I was ready to play date on a regular basis.

This morning my desire to seal a playdate deal with them had reached a fever pitch, and I felt the first stirring of "friendly" coercion rearing its ugly head. I thought of all the jokes I could write to them about being a friendly stalker, but settled (wisely, I think) on just asking them to meet at at a playground of their choice once a week for playtime. I'm already requesting a lot of their time without asking them to laugh over my social neediness on top of that. I've been refreshing my inbox constantly, hoping for a response.

I am scaring myself, people. I know this happens to parents on occasion, but how did I let it get this freaky?